2nd Post in my Weekly Series on Living with Cancer.

It is not easy to find the right words when we visit a friend who has been diagnosed with a serious illness. I have been fortunate to receive many, many words of sympathy and encouragement. I appreciate them all.

However, I’ve come to realize that some phrases touch the heart more deeply than others. With the intent of fostering genuine connections and support, I’d like to share a few tips.

Dos ✅:

1. Instead of a general “Let me know if you need anything,” offer specific forms of assistance.

For example, a friend offered to travel with me to a faraway spiritual place for meditation, if I would find it helpful. My friend’s gesture was grand. Yet, offering help doesn’t have to involve grand gestures.

Simple, direct offers such as, ‘Can I bring you dinner tomorrow?’ or ‘Would you like me to take your daughter to her soccer game?’ are equally valuable.

2. Simply listen and ask open-ended questions. For example, “what are your most pressing concerns”? As you listen, you may find something you can help with.

3. Affirm the long-term nature of your support – “I will be here for you whenever you need me.” One of the best messages of long-term support I received was from a friend who said they will stand by my family, even in my absence.

Don’ts❌:

1. Avoid comparisons like “I know someone who had the same thing and they’re fine now.” Comparisons, even when meant to uplift, can sometimes feel dismissive of the individual struggle.

2. Don’t force positivity. Phrases like “You’ll beat this!” miss the mark, sounding more like empty promises.

Thank you to all of you who have been my and my family’s support!💞